HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Thursday, May 10, 2007
one flaw in women
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
why women cry
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will.
"Later the little boy asked his father,"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man,
Still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone,
He asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?
"God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will.
"Later the little boy asked his father,"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man,
Still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone,
He asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?
"God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
WHY NOT A GIRL?
People pray for boys not for a girl..
They desire a boy not a girl..
Blessing of an elder for a boy not for a girl
But..........
In need of wealth they pray to Goddess Lakshmi
In need of courage they go to Goddess Durga
In need of education they call upon Goddess Saraswathi.
Tell me now....
Why do they hesitate to have a Devi in the family?
They desire a boy not a girl..
Blessing of an elder for a boy not for a girl
But..........
In need of wealth they pray to Goddess Lakshmi
In need of courage they go to Goddess Durga
In need of education they call upon Goddess Saraswathi.
Tell me now....
Why do they hesitate to have a Devi in the family?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A SEVEN DAY BLISS
Last week while in gym, a historic event happened for the first time in 10 years.. I lost my mobile.. With it, I lost all the contact numbers too. You all must be sympathizing with me, please don’t because it was blessing in disguise. Since the fateful day ten years back, when I decided to own a sparrow named mobile, the life had completely gone topsy-turvy. The initial excitement did not last longer when there remained no privacy and people could reach me wherever and whenever they wanted to. My dad, knowing that I have gone for a movie and the show will continue for three hours, he would call within and hour asking what time would I come back.
If ever I fail to respond to a call (I do have to do certain things in a day when I can’t respond to a call) people would get irritated and ask me why the hell I am not picking up the call. My boss would even go one step ahead by complaining in a way, as if that is the last truth of my life and I do not have the right to survive if I do not respond to her call. You can not even keep it switched off for long. The moment u would switch it on; people would demand to know why it was switched off. About a month back, a friend of mine called up home asking mom if I was ok. She got worried why he is asking like this. When I called him back he sounded frantic and worried on phone and asked me “Hey what’s matter with you, why your phone is switched off for last five hours, I got so worried” As if switching off the mobile is an indicator of my not being well, or to think in extremes I perhaps died.
My boss and colleagues think that office has a right over me 24x7 so they can call me anywhere any time. “After all”, they say “Managers have 24 hours' duty” Earlier I resisted saying this is my personal mobile but alas, that excuse also did not last long, as the HR decided to pay the expenses towards all the callsL. So I started using it for official purpose and one day a very funny incident happened.. My boss always gets upset whenever one of us wants to go on leave. On a usual stressful day in office my boss was very upset with me because I was on leave previous day. The same day another guy had to apply for leave but seeing my experience he could not even gather the courage to ask. So in the evening I sent him a message asking if he managed to get the leave. I wrote to him Y boss does this, doesn’t she realize we also have some priorities.. Well nothing was unusual in this, we all like to bitch boss…. And oooooops by mistake I sent the SMS to my boss instead of my colleague. And you can imagine the rest of the story.
Every morning, people start playing forward- forward through mobile, forwarding messages here and there. Sometimes I get same message from six people in one day. As if they do not have any other significant work to do in the morning. And if I do not respond, they complain, “We send you so many good massages you are so ruthless, you never even care to respond” Did I ask for one???. The height is, these days even we have started receiving SMSs saying “ Please forward to so many people and good will happen to you otherwise be prepared for any misfortune” so these threatening messages promoting some god father are no more limited to only emails..
On last 26th January, I received three messages wishing me “happy Independence Day”. I was so disgusted. Kya log hain… People have even stopped differentiating between Republic day and Independence Day and keep forwarding messages without even realizing it. When I corrected them, they applauded my intelligence. Heck, what a criteria of judging someone’s intelligence. Have you heard somewhere that these days people even break up their relations by sending an SMS to their partners?? What an easy way out.
And the most frustrating experiences of life have been the unsolicited calls from banks, credit card companies and showrooms. They can call you any time in the middle of any thing. I was never able to find out how the hell they get my cell number. If Murphy had been alive, his new law would have been, ‘One would always get unsolicited calls in the middle of meeting when the deal is about to be finalized with your oh- so important clients.’
So not deviating more from my current topic I was telling that last week I lost my mobile. The very next day I gave this news to every one in the office with great effort to show the ex-pressions of grief on my face. Oh god, it’s so difficult for a person like me to hide the joy within and disguise it with grief. Every one showed sympathy towards me.. “Oh Poor you… it must be so difficult” I felt like saying.. "These are the happiest days of my life".. Somehow I managed to stop my self from saying it or from expressing the elation. Boss was suddenly so sweet to me… She is now dependent on me to reach me. Every one wanted to know how I lost my cell. Some went to an extent of suggesting me to buy a cell of particular brand… Was the company giving them any commission or they were serving as brand ambassador??? One colleague even suggested me to go for a high end Pocket PC. I requested him to raise ‘Angel mobile fund” and I will buy whichever model he was suggesting. He never showed up after that.
So finally I was without mobile.. For almost seven days. What a bliss, no more late nights, no more complains, and no more calls to attend meetings on the holidays.. I was no more supposed to call up office if I was getting late by three seconds. Fortunately I had never given people my land line number. No one even ask these days… After all, they are so confident of catching hold of me through my cell..
Alas, the bliss of a life time came to an end when I had to go for official tour and my mom was after my life to buy a cell before I go as if she was gonna loose me if I didn’t have one. Poor thing she did not even understand that without a cell I would not even be able to elope with some one. So I bought a new handset and my seven days of freedom and bliss came to an end…
If ever I fail to respond to a call (I do have to do certain things in a day when I can’t respond to a call) people would get irritated and ask me why the hell I am not picking up the call. My boss would even go one step ahead by complaining in a way, as if that is the last truth of my life and I do not have the right to survive if I do not respond to her call. You can not even keep it switched off for long. The moment u would switch it on; people would demand to know why it was switched off. About a month back, a friend of mine called up home asking mom if I was ok. She got worried why he is asking like this. When I called him back he sounded frantic and worried on phone and asked me “Hey what’s matter with you, why your phone is switched off for last five hours, I got so worried” As if switching off the mobile is an indicator of my not being well, or to think in extremes I perhaps died.
My boss and colleagues think that office has a right over me 24x7 so they can call me anywhere any time. “After all”, they say “Managers have 24 hours' duty” Earlier I resisted saying this is my personal mobile but alas, that excuse also did not last long, as the HR decided to pay the expenses towards all the callsL. So I started using it for official purpose and one day a very funny incident happened.. My boss always gets upset whenever one of us wants to go on leave. On a usual stressful day in office my boss was very upset with me because I was on leave previous day. The same day another guy had to apply for leave but seeing my experience he could not even gather the courage to ask. So in the evening I sent him a message asking if he managed to get the leave. I wrote to him Y boss does this, doesn’t she realize we also have some priorities.. Well nothing was unusual in this, we all like to bitch boss…. And oooooops by mistake I sent the SMS to my boss instead of my colleague. And you can imagine the rest of the story.
Every morning, people start playing forward- forward through mobile, forwarding messages here and there. Sometimes I get same message from six people in one day. As if they do not have any other significant work to do in the morning. And if I do not respond, they complain, “We send you so many good massages you are so ruthless, you never even care to respond” Did I ask for one???. The height is, these days even we have started receiving SMSs saying “ Please forward to so many people and good will happen to you otherwise be prepared for any misfortune” so these threatening messages promoting some god father are no more limited to only emails..
On last 26th January, I received three messages wishing me “happy Independence Day”. I was so disgusted. Kya log hain… People have even stopped differentiating between Republic day and Independence Day and keep forwarding messages without even realizing it. When I corrected them, they applauded my intelligence. Heck, what a criteria of judging someone’s intelligence. Have you heard somewhere that these days people even break up their relations by sending an SMS to their partners?? What an easy way out.
And the most frustrating experiences of life have been the unsolicited calls from banks, credit card companies and showrooms. They can call you any time in the middle of any thing. I was never able to find out how the hell they get my cell number. If Murphy had been alive, his new law would have been, ‘One would always get unsolicited calls in the middle of meeting when the deal is about to be finalized with your oh- so important clients.’
So not deviating more from my current topic I was telling that last week I lost my mobile. The very next day I gave this news to every one in the office with great effort to show the ex-pressions of grief on my face. Oh god, it’s so difficult for a person like me to hide the joy within and disguise it with grief. Every one showed sympathy towards me.. “Oh Poor you… it must be so difficult” I felt like saying.. "These are the happiest days of my life".. Somehow I managed to stop my self from saying it or from expressing the elation. Boss was suddenly so sweet to me… She is now dependent on me to reach me. Every one wanted to know how I lost my cell. Some went to an extent of suggesting me to buy a cell of particular brand… Was the company giving them any commission or they were serving as brand ambassador??? One colleague even suggested me to go for a high end Pocket PC. I requested him to raise ‘Angel mobile fund” and I will buy whichever model he was suggesting. He never showed up after that.
So finally I was without mobile.. For almost seven days. What a bliss, no more late nights, no more complains, and no more calls to attend meetings on the holidays.. I was no more supposed to call up office if I was getting late by three seconds. Fortunately I had never given people my land line number. No one even ask these days… After all, they are so confident of catching hold of me through my cell..
Alas, the bliss of a life time came to an end when I had to go for official tour and my mom was after my life to buy a cell before I go as if she was gonna loose me if I didn’t have one. Poor thing she did not even understand that without a cell I would not even be able to elope with some one. So I bought a new handset and my seven days of freedom and bliss came to an end…
Gone are the days!!!
Gone are the days!!!
WhenThe school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,
yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke ' s tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single P.T. period in the week ' s Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When few played"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played"book cricket" in the Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45 to"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint","kulfi", " milk ice !
" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!
Gone are the days Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends, So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we usedto talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don ' t have time to say a `Hi ' !
Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we Code on the road with laptop!
Gone are the days
When we saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn ' tWork!
Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!
Gone are the days
Where westudied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don ' t shout even at home!
Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I ' m doing now....!!
Gone are the days But not the memories, which will beLingering in our hearts for ever and ever andEver and ever and ever .....
Gone are the Days….
But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,DONT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.....
WhenThe school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,
yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke ' s tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single P.T. period in the week ' s Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When few played"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played"book cricket" in the Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45 to"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint","kulfi", " milk ice !
" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!
Gone are the days Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends, So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we usedto talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don ' t have time to say a `Hi ' !
Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we Code on the road with laptop!
Gone are the days
When we saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn ' tWork!
Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!
Gone are the days
Where westudied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don ' t shout even at home!
Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I ' m doing now....!!
Gone are the days But not the memories, which will beLingering in our hearts for ever and ever andEver and ever and ever .....
Gone are the Days….
But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,DONT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS.....
females and beer
Female hormones in beer
Tests revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a serious look at their beer consumption.
Their theory is that beer contains female hormones and
that, by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.To
test the theory, 100 men were given 8 pints of beer each
to consume within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects...
> 1) Gained weight,
> 2) Talked excessively without making sense,
> 3) Became overly emotional,
> 4) Couldn't drive,
> 5) Failed to think rationally,
> 6) Argued over nothing,
> 7) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary!!!!!
Tests revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a serious look at their beer consumption.
Their theory is that beer contains female hormones and
that, by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.To
test the theory, 100 men were given 8 pints of beer each
to consume within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects...
> 1) Gained weight,
> 2) Talked excessively without making sense,
> 3) Became overly emotional,
> 4) Couldn't drive,
> 5) Failed to think rationally,
> 6) Argued over nothing,
> 7) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary!!!!!
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